Score: 0

"Is this a joke?"

submission: A&K Battle Rocks

date: January 9, 2007

I'm going to tell you this plainly, because you have a serious following, and it saddens me that you are abusing your influence and spoon feeding shit to impressionable people.

Learn how to draw characters with appeal and proper construction. It's been half a decade and they still look like cardboard. It's not stylish, it's amateur. Style only surfaces after you've taught yourself fundamental art principles.

Learn how to give texture to your animations with proper staging, slow ins and outs, overlapping action, weight, timing, and maybe, just maybe some secondary action. All your characters look like weightless robots suffering form arthritis.

Learn some color theory and quit using high saturated colors and primaries for EVERY damn color. It clashes and you can't even tell where to draw your attention too. For the record, Green, blue and orange is a disgusting combination.

Learn something about composition and shot staging.

I can't say much for content, because you at least tried to be original here. It wasn't your typical videogame rip (besides the music). The idea, if executed correctly, might have been worth the watch.

At the very least, I think your fans are growing up and starting to realize that your submissions are lacking, just by eyeballing the scores you've been getting.

Score: 6

"Blehhh . . ."

submission: Shamoozal: Man-Bot

date: January 3, 2007

Seeing as how you handled yourself so gracefully to some constructive criticism with my last review, I thought I'd probe that newly discovered nerve of yours.

This had very clean animation. It's a well executed blend of tweening and fbf. The secondary motion and subtle follow through brings the robot to life. The backdrops were also above average.

The content leaves a lot to be desired though. I really couldn't muster up a laugh. It's a strange paradox to see such nice visuals with content that lacks real punch.

And it's funny to think you accused me of being juvenile when the biggest gag in this toon was a robot poking a woman's ass.

If you are content with getting your dick stroked by adolescent male NG users, that's fine. Just admit to it. But you should quit acting like one and lashing out to viewers who are keen enough to see where you need polishing. The view from inside your ass won't help you get any better.

Score: 10

"Masterpiece."

submission: Ivan Drago!

date: December 31, 2006

This game is in every way stunning. It's heart and hilarity packed into one of the most well polished Flash fighting games ever assembled. And yes, I'm totally biased. I'm a child of the 80's, so Rocky and Nintendo is such a smooth satisfying mix.

The reward system is to die for as well. I cackled as I chomped babies in half as Herbert the Dinosaur. I giggled with joy, as I rocketboosted through the streets as Balboa.

Bravo. You win. KO.

Score: 10

"0_0"

submission: Future

date: December 26, 2006

*clap clap clap clap clap clap clap*

Score: 6

"What??!?"

submission: Shamoozal: Ninja

date: December 25, 2006

You had a seriously good thing going there. You pitched and sold the idea of a serious ninja fight, and succeeded. This is something that is often attempted and often fails miserably. Congrats for that.

But what happened? The flash in its entirety was ruined, in my opinion, when it cut to "reality." My 12 year old brother literally walked out after this transitioned, and I just groaned at the cheese that ensued.

Pro animation, cool choereography, but mediocre as a whole.

Score: 10

". . ."

submission: Madness Antipathy

date: September 16, 2006

You've managed to make me feel that the protagonist is now the antagonist.

Jesus Christ, Krinkles. =)

Score: 9

"Fan-freaking-tastic."

submission: Become Anniversary Collab

date: September 1, 2006

That was a visual treat. Very very creative ideas. This rocks to the n-th.

Score: 4

"Huh?"

submission: TANKMEN-Snakes on a Plane

date: September 1, 2006

Nice visuals. They looked really clean. Props.

Bad overall idea though in my opinion. The audio itself was funny, but it was purely stand alone. I would have appreciated it more, if it wasn't tied down to an animation with Tankmen.

I suppose the only punchline that was creative was redefining snakes as penises, hence the Tankmen. But it felt really drawn out, just to make that corellation. Every other joke relied on the original unrelated punchlines.

Keep flashing though. You have talent.

Score: 3

"Blehh."

submission: NG Assassin Ep3

date: August 29, 2006

Yeah, I could have enjoyed a flash movie where a bunch of Newground icons get ripped to shreds, but this movie was executed way too subpar. You had some good ideas, but they fell flat with the pacing/timing.

I can enjoy watching some good violence, hell, even pointless violence, but it has to be done smoothly. Otherwise, your ideas are kind of presented straight forwardly, and if they aren't good ones (like the whole premise this flash), then it sucks.

Score: 8

"Fantastic"

submission: FPS in Real Life 3

date: August 24, 2006

Fantastic. This is a really cool idea. I actually had fun shooting the same 15 year old over and over again.